Vipassana Meditation: Part 2 Self-Transformation through Self-Observation

Every new venture has its own challenges and takeaways. While I portrayed challenges in Part 1 of Vipassana retreat in my previous blog, this one is going to be more on the technique itself.

Like everyone asking me, even I was curious to know what I would learn for 10 full days! Why is it not taught online, why is there a digital detox, why no communication with outside world and most importantly why the noble silence. With all these confusions and speculations course finally kick started. On the first day I entered the meditation hall, excited although sleepy-eyed at 4.30 AM thinking I be in some Zen state today. But, all I could hear was an audio recording of an old grandpa clearing his throat, telling what was the task of the day and singing in some unknown language. My first impression was like, whaaat really? Have I woke up this early to hear this displeasing voice? Little did I know that this guy Late S.N Goenka, the burmese millionaire was the man who brought back Budha's Vipasanna from Burma in its purest form. From India he then went to expand it all over the world. On the first day I dint know that he would be my favourite person on earth for those 10 days. Cos' the only voice we were to hear for 10 days! Every single night for an hour he would appear on the screens explaining what and why we did that day. His endearing vibe was something to look forward to.

Eleven hours of the first day was dedicated to observe the breath. When I say breath, it is to build the awareness that air goes through the nostrils and comes out. Unlike regular pranayamas one is not supposed to control the breath but to just observe the bare breath as it is. Initially it becomes very hard to attain awareness, the reason being not all breaths are harsh or noticable, coz if you are sitting idle doing no physical activity breath becomes much more shallower as if you have stopped breathing. If that wasn't enough, you have your mind constantly jumping from one thought to another. A past memory or a future expectation.

With the awareness of the breath from the previous day, day 2 was to understand the movement and touch of the breath. From tips of nostrils, the passage inside the nostrils and end of nostrils. Today mind seems to be much more agitated, it tells you to run away. But with constant effort awareness has to be built to experience the touch of cold air going inside nostrils and a slightly warmer air exiting through the nostrils to touch the upperlips. Until this is called the Anapana meditation.

Did I mention how do we wake up at 4 AM everyday? Although, we were instructed to get our own old-fashioned alarm clock, the center had its own gong which probably would wake up the entire village with its piercing sound. It was so powerful that I didn't have to use the alarm clock from the second day. Ok, we are into third day now. Awareness of breath achieved, touch of breath achieved what next? Hmmm, once you achieve this level of awareness you now start to experience some kind of sensations in the triangular area of the nose. Sensations like heat, cold, tickling, pricking, pain, expanding, contracting, movement and what not. So the third day was all about observing the sensations in the triangular area starting from upperlip to inside the nostrils.

Finally, here we are on the fourth day when the actual technique of vipasanna is taught. So the first half of the day was to build more awareness or per say sharpen the mind even further by observing just the upperlips and experiencing the sensations in that tiny area of the body. Post lunch was when the actual Vipassana would be taught. I was excited. But when the audio recording was played about what exactly one has to do I was stunned. All I had to do was to observe the entire body from head to toe examing each and every part of the body to feel the sensations.

You might be wondering what are these sensations. Let me give you a heads up. At any given time we feel a tickling or a pricking sensation in our body. The moment we have this sensation we instantly brush that area, scratch and get away with it. Ever wondered why? The reason why Vipassana blew my mind was hidden behind these sensations. With this simple phenomenon Gautama the Budha attained enlightenment! There isn't any solidarity in this nature which scientists discovered many years later was experienced by the Budha centuries ago. And with this understanding he derived that the body is made up of tiny particles that are continuously reacting with each other, arising and passing away to create sensations. There is whole lot of science involved here and there are so many books written on it. In simplest sense, Vipassana focusses on the deep interconnection between mind and body.

With heighted awareness one now experiences the sensations throughout the body. Scanning each and every nook and crook of the body from head to toe and reverse from toe to head. Sensations might be pleasant or unpleasant. Idea is to just observe and not react to it. Objectively observing without generating any craving or aversion for any given sensation. Every day after the fourth day was to come, sit on the meditation cushion observe and be equanimous no matter what. This might sound boring and at times the mind does feel bored because that's how we are conditioned to be. But Vipassana is all about this. By being aware, observing sensations and remaining equanimous every single day one goes deeper and deeper understanding oneself. It opens up answers to a lot of hidden questions removing old deep rooted scars of craving or hatred.

As you remain equanimous the sensations become subtler and subtler like a free flow of energy. Mind is now lot more calmer. The idea is not to stop your thoughts. Thoughts mind be there but they are now moved to the background similar a honking sound I can hear from my window! So yes, this is roughly what the technique is. I haven't explained a lot of things.Coz' I dont think Im allowed to say more. Also, I would like to keep what I experienced with Vipassana at a deeper level to myself. The reason being, if you decide to go for it or say any advanced meditation course for that matter it is important that you do not go with any expectation. Coz' your experience is your own and not somebody else's.

So, what next for me? I have the ancient technique with me. This has helped me understand what sensations arise when Iam in a particular state of mind. This awareness helps to come out of it sooner or later. Its a process for lifetime which cannot be attained overnight. While I might not be enlightened or liberated today like the Budha, I make a constant effort not miss my practice as much as possible an hour or so twice a day. And, if possible a 10 day retreat every year! Hope my family and specially my manager doesn't read the previous line!